What A Scare!

Matthew scared me half to death today! I was giving him his multivitamin through a dropper (in his cheek) and he started gagging on me and couldn't breathe. His eyes got really big and he started turning a light shade of blue. He just couldn't get a breath and I didn't know what else to do but rub his back and pray that he take a breath! I was just about to grab the phone when he finally got some color back and went limp. I kept rubbing his back until he started breathing more. AHHH! It made me think of Maggie and her son, Ericson, (they were neighbors to us at the NICU) and she said they had made a trip to the ER already due to him gagging and turning purple, not able to breathe!!! I was going to take a shower, but instead I am going to keep a very close eye on Matthew until I am sure he doesn't have anything whatsoever in that throat of his. He is now sleeping in the swing and I my heart is not pumping so hard. Everything is just fine now, but it makes you realize how fast something can happen. I think I will be discussing another alternative to supplementation for Matthew with our home nurse and the pediatrician tomorrow. I do not want to do that again. This is the 2nd time we tried it and the first time he also had a difficult time (but not like this!)

At Home And Loving Every Minute Of It!!

Matthew is now home and doing very well. He still has small dips in his O2 and heartrate once in a while with feedings, but gets stronger and stronger every day. It is amazing what a difference even one day is! I'm not sure where his wt. is exactly, since the pediatrician and visiting home nurse have completely different measurements, but know that he is over 8 lbs and eating continuously :) The only main concern we have at this point is not having any dirty diapers (besides being wet) for several days, but hopefully that will work itself out soon.

We have a visiting home nurse that just stops in to see Matthew and get a weight about every 3-4 days. She addresses any concerns that we are having. Plus, we have also been to the pediatrician for routine exams/immunizations :( Not too happy I agreed to the first set of shots, I don't know what I was thinking...he was not himself for a few days and made me a complete wreck. I should have had them wait, especially since he is not trully a two month old for two more months in development.

Matthew is doing the newborn thing...sleeping, EATING, and I hope soon pooping... He is a wonderful baby and only gets up in the night to eat, then goes right back to sleep. During the day, he has had more and more awake time...an hour or two in the morning and evening. He definitely lets you know when he is hungry, with a high-pitched squeel until that food is present. He is growing fast and seems so BIG to Eric and I because he has atleast doubled in size from when he was born. He is looking more and more like a full-term baby, if not already.

Andrew is a proud big brother and loves helping Mom and Dad with feeding, bathing, playing, holding, and watching the little guy. He has recently shown a little bit of jealousy with Mom's time, but it is all that we expected. If Matthew is cuddled, he needs a little cuddling, etc. I am so happy that we decided to have one more, and I think overall Andrew is too. In fact, he says he wants us to have more babies...but we are done.

Two wonderful miracles...

Final Day In The NICU!

Today is the day and we are so excited! Matthew has a few procedures/shots yet, then it is time for the homecoming. Hopefully, we will be traveling by late afternoon :) Yeah!! He is going to be exhausted today and what a transition for him, but it's all good :)

This may be the last time I write for a while, since we will have our hands full, not to mention that our internet is down. Time to get back to Matthew!

Going Home Tomorrow!!!

I don't know what else to say! We are so excited!!!!

Almost Home!

Matthew is completely off his oxygen as of this morning around 10am. So far, he is doing very well and keeping his O2 levels in the 90s. He is still growing (7lbs, 6 oz.) and continues to take his feedings on his own. Right now, he will remain in the NICU for observation to make sure he doesn't tire out, have difficulty with breathing, keeps his O2 sats up, and continues to gain weight. If all goes well, we could be home by the weekend!!! Here come the sleepless nights and continuous feeding schedule!!!

Taking 100% Of Feedings!

Right now Matthew is taking 100% of his feedings. It all started when the docs walked in to do rounds Saturday morning. When they got to Matthew's bed and looked down, they saw that he had his feeding tube (pulled out) in one hand, and the nasal canula was in his mouth! I guess he was hungry :) And he was just smiling away :) As you can see, he is already up to mischief! Since then, they have only had to put the feeding tube in once (which he again pulled out!) and he has been taking 100% of his feeding himself. Keep up the good work Matthew!!!

Now, our goal is to get him off the "flow" of air and get him home. They are trying to put him on O2 again today, but just a tiny bit, to see if he can tolerate the work of his lungs. If he gets too tired or reduces his feeds/energy, he will go back on the "air flow", and we will just keep trying until he's ready. Once he is on his own (no "flow"), then he can come home with or without O2 (which he needs right now only when he is eating). Hopefully that makes sense.

I am shooting for next week or earlier!! He gets stronger everyday and is looking great...Praise God!! I am thankful everyday that he is now a great part of our lives and that we have such a wonderful family and friends!

I Finally Got Some Pictures On The Blog!

As you can tell Matthew has a few people that simply adore him...it's been a long road, but sure has been worth it. Matthew is doing very well. He is now on what is called "off-the-wall" O2, which, if necessary, is what he can go home on (hopefully this won't be necessary). This is the oxygen that we see people use in public, it would be portable for Matthew as well if he needs it. He is taking more feedings by bottle or nursing and is desating (dropping heart rate/O2 levels) less often during feeds. As you can see by the video below, he is 7 lbs today!!! At 35 wks gestation! And still growing :) He is moving on up on the growth scale, but they are not concerned with too much weight gain because his height is in the 90th percentile! Go Matthew!! He is filling out more of his "rolls" and in my opinion looked better today than I have ever seen him! We are ready for him to come home and know it is only a matter of time now.

Video Of Matthew Today!

Matthew had a very busy day while mom was at the hospital with him. Nursed, physical therapy, bath, multiple diaper changes (he is the master at these!!), and taking a bottle...all within 3 1/2 hours!! Then he was tired out and just wanted to sleep, but mom had to get a video of him...

My Little Chubster!

Matthew is continuing to grow...over 6 lbs now and not stopping! I think he is definitely getting enough food. I will again try to get some pictures on soon...i have them, but I usually blog from the hospital. Everyone will think he is still small, but to me he seems huge!! He has a double, going on triple, chin. He has lots of rolls (everywhere), and huge thighs for his size (in my opinion). I am used to Andrew (always in the 5th percentile) and Matthew is somewhere above the 50th and climbing...by the time everyone sees him, he will look completely different! The docs, and nurses, sometimes forget that he is still only 34 wks (gestational age) and not 36 or 37. We actually have to remind them here and there :) I know, I know...that's why I need to get some more pictures on this blog.

Let's see...Matthew may be home in a week or two, based on my observation. I wouldn't be surprised if it were sooner, than later. He is still on O2, but doing better on his own and doesn't need a lot of stimulation if he desats (breathes shallow). He is feeding from a bottle during the day, taking by mouth about 15-35ml (out of 50), this will improve as he gets older and has more energy to stay awake. It is actually possible that he will go home with O2 and tube feedings...we will just wait and see. Matthew had an eye exam on Monday, which showed immature vessels (not connected to the eye yet), which happens in some preemies and they will do weekly testing to see if this improves. No need to be concerned at this point. He also had a cranial (brain) ultrasound on Monday, which came back perfectly normal, Yeah!! :) The docs say that he should be getting "stars" for overachieving in many aspects.

I have realized in the last week and especially the last couple of days, exactly how (stressed?) that I actually am. I feel like there is no time to do the million and one things that need done. I feel relaxed, but then...my to do list keeps growing, as well as the laundry, housecleaning, organizing, regular preschool activities/trips, and Andrew just misses me more and more... These things weren't bothering me much, until Andrew started really reacting to my leaving every day. It will be nice for him just to have me at home, even though lots of time will still be given to Matthew. Again...thank you Dad! for helping out..what would we have ever done without you!!!!! :)

Not Ready

Matthew was not ready for the 5th floor and is back in the NICU. We felt that way from the beginning and I guess we were right. Very short story...we went to the 5th floor (after much emotion and persuasion) about 12:30am Sunday morning. While we were there, Matthew just wasn't himself. He was uncomfortable for some reason and was crying more than normal. Once on the correct type of O2/air mix (don't ask..), he continually dipped in percentage, sometimes as low as 64% and the nurses, doc, and respiratory therapist were not comfortable with this at all. By 6am, Matthew was back to the NICU, and is now back to his comfy/cozy self.

Again, this is the short story...and we are glad he is back in the NICU.

Matthew Is Graduating To A New Floor!

Matthew is moving to a new floor in Motts Hospital, out of the NICU. This may sound exciting, but to us it is scary. We are pretty anxious and nervous about the whole move, but know he will be ok. The best thing is that we will get to take care of him and stay in his room. The hardest thing will be lack of sleep, time away from Andrew, the possibility of Andrew getting sick...then what???? (hopefully this won't happen), getting used to no monitors in the room, and no nurse at his bedside.

I am at the NICU right now, trying to stay awake and waiting for the move to take place. Then I will be in his room and might be able to get a few hours of sleep. We'll see. I obviously won't be getting to those pictures again...

Oh ya...Matthew is just short of 6 lbs!!! He is now 34 weeks gestation and on his 31st day of life!

Just Hanging Out!

Matthew is continuing to grow, 5 lbs 4 oz as of last night. He is doing well with his O2 and is starting to take a partial bottle at least once a day. Doc's keep giving us the "thumbs up" sign, so to me that indicates that all is progressing well :) I am hoping to add new pictures this coming weekend.

Still Growing!

Matthew is doing great! He is now 5 lbs 1 oz (until tomorrow) and gaining 40-60g per day. He is starting to take small amt. of his feedings from a bottle or mom, and he is doing better with maintaining his O2 levels. Everytime I see him, he looks a little bigger and longer. Last week, his smallest preemie clothes either just fit or were way too big. Today they seem to be fitting him pretty well, but still comfortably roomy :) We are anticipating that he may be coming home in 2-3 wks, if all continues to go well, he can get off O2, and continue to take his own feedings. We will see....time is actually flying by, now that I'm not on the couch and I am back to "real life", and I love every minute of it!! I have only stretched out on the couch ONCE since I have had Matthew and that was ONLY because Andrew wanted to read stories and requested that we lay on the couch :)

Andrew is doing very well and is also ready for Matthew to come home. He was able to go see his little brother over the weekend and was really excited to hear him cry, smile at his voice, and open his eyes. Most of the time that Andrew has seen him, he has been sleeping. Eric, I, and my dad have been doing well also...keeping up with the busy schedule, but enjoyable schedule :) And much awaiting the moment Matthew gets to come home!

Just Watching Him Grow!

That is what the docs say everytime they do rounds in the morning "Just watching him grow". As of last night, Matthew weighs 4 lbs 12 ozs, we have yet to get a weight on him today. It seems like he is gaining approx. 2-3 ozs daily, so he may be over 5 lbs by the weekend :) He is doing very well. Still on O2, but very little. He now has the top of his incubator open and he has to be able to control his temperature and keep gaining weight to keep it up...he's moving in the right direction so far. He is now wearing preemie clothes, a little hat, is bundled (so you really can't see that he has clothes on :), and he has borrowed his big brother's train blanket to get cozy under. It all just makes him that much cuter! I'd put on a new picture, but (BAD MOM) I keep forgetting the camera...it's still on the computer where I downloaded pictures last time!!! Maybe tomorrow...

Andrew is finally getting control of his cough and gets to go back to school. We are hoping he gets over this sinus stuff soon, so he can visit his little brother. I will be taking tomorrow off to spend with Andrew, and Sunday I will also stay home with Andrew and give Dad (Eric) the entire day to spend with Matthew. Andrew is still being strong, but I can tell it's beginning to wear on him. I guess he needs to get used to having to share his time. Eric and I have both agreed that he will have major "grandpa withdrawal" in the future due to getting so much attention and "good" spoiling. I think they have formed a great bond that will last a lifetime :)

Idea Of Size

Here are several more recent pictures of Matthew. I tried to put several objects in the pictures to give a better idea of his size (pen, thumb, etc.). Matthew is doing very well and as you can see, resting and growing. He is now just over 4 lbs, 3 oz. and gaining weight (about 7-10 grams) daily. He is in the 56th percentile for wt, and 50th+ for ht, all are progressing normally. As of tomorrow (Sunday, Feb 22nd) he will be at 32 weeks (gestational).

He is back and forth between room air (21%) and 23% O2, as his lungs are also continuing to develop, and is being given caffeine to help remind him to breath at times when he is very relaxed. We are hoping that the remainder of his stay will be as uneventful as possible. He remains big for his gestational age and the nurses continuously remind themselves that he is only 31, and now almost 32 wks.

It feels strange at times, and I will speak for my husband as well, as if we have two lives. One is at the NICU and then the other is at our house. It is still hard to divide the time and Andrew is handling it very well. He has had a rough week with allergy/sinus issues and has been unable to come to the hospital to see his little brother. Hopefully he will recover soon and get a chance to spend some time with Mom, Dad, and Matthew at the hospital. Over all, we are developing a daily/weekly routine that requires every bit of energy and leads to utter exhaustion :) Despite everything, the are sooooo blessed and are soooo happy to have our new addition and our Andew in our lives!!! We are thankful everyday for the two of them, and know that they both have a guardian angel, Alexandra, who we lost previously at 18 wks.

This is Matthew with lights underneath to help lower his level of bilirubin when he is jaundice. I mentioned this before, but it is normal for a preemie to do this. Earlier he had to have lights shining above him as well and he was "bathing in the lights". As of today, he is off the lights unless his levels increase again.

The mask on his face is to protect his eyes from the light. He didn't seem to mind unless we started messing with it :)

As you can see, he has the feeding tube in his mouth to his stomach (which he keeps trying to work out by himself. He has an IV on his left arm in this picture, now it is actually on the right side. All other wires are to monitor his heart, O2 levels, and respiratory rate. He was pretty relaxed and happy in this picture, just lounging around!

The rest of the pictures are on the side and go from most recent to the 1st day. Enjoy!! I will be updating often as he is continuing to grow! (He gained more weight today!!!)

Back Again!

Back again. I have gotten a lot of baby time today, so thought I would take a break and blog. We are both excited, we get to bathe Matthew this afternoon. From now on, I kangaroo (hold) Matthew one day, bathe the next, etc... He is doing very well today. Yesterday afternoon, they put him back on a nasal cannula because his O2 stats were hanging around in the 80s (%). This is normal, he is just tired of breathing on his own. He has had 3 x-rays showing some immaturity to his lungs and one is slightly collapsed due to him not filling it all the way. Again, the NICU docs reassure us that this is normal with preemies, and they will mature over time. They will continue to monitor this as the days go on. Matthew gained weight yesterday for the first time and they are increasing his tube feedings daily. His bilirubin (jaundice) has lowered today (good thing) and they took him off the lights. He seems so content today compared to yesterday due to more relaxed breathing. He opened his eyes a lot today and looked as though he really wanted to know where I was. He has also been very active (arms and legs) today. We just praise God that he is doing so well. He is now 6 days old and just short of 31 weeks gestation.

I was looking at a chart today on gestational age and weight. A 29 week old avg. was approx. 2.8lbs, and a 34 week avg. was 4.6! I guess he was a little bigger :) 87th percentile. He already makes us proud :)

I actually got a good night sleep last night...7 whole hours, despite 3 hour breaks for pumping. I feel so rested compared to yesterday (or any day since the baby was born). I have been up here everyday and yesterday I just crashed and knew I needed rest. Andrew is also getting tired of me being away, I feel so torn right now :( I am hoping that he will stay strong and try to understand why Mom has to be gone right now. If Matthew is doing very well, I am going to leave a little early and spend a few quality "playtime" hours with Andrew.

Andrew has been a little stuffy the last couple days. It seems like allergies with the warm up and damp weather, and we are hoping it doesn't go any further. You wouldn't know it, he is such a trooper. We are so blessed to have him as our child.

Mom and Dad Calvin are doing are great, despite the sleep deprivation and busy schedule. The hospital NICU has some great resources/programs/support that make as feel as welcome and informed as possible and we feel that Matthew is in great hands when we can not be present. Eric took this week off and has also gotten to spend some time with both Matthew and Andrew and will be returning to work next week as long as all is well.

My dad is staying as long as we need him and he also is a real trooper...and taking on even more responsibility now. Love you Dad!!

Just Over 4 Days Old!

I know what your all saying...It's about time! I have to be completely honest though and say it is really hard to stay here and type instead of being at Matthew's bedside. I thought maybe I could type next to him, but so far can not because I just can't stop watching, comforting, and talking to our cute little guy! Ok, ok...I know what your saying now too...Where are the pictures????? They are coming, be patient. It's just that by the time I get home and spend a little time with Andrew, I am totally exhausted. I know it doesn't take long to download my pictures and put them on this sight and I promise :) they will get here soon enough (give me a few more days or so to get into some type of routine).

I am surviving on about 5 hours of sleep daily. If I make a million spelling/grammar mistakes, don't take it against me :)

Matthew Joseph Calvin arrived Friday at 11:04, 4lbs and 1oz., 17inches long. His name trully fits him in our eyes because Matthew means "Gift from God", and Joseph means "God will add". I could go into why this means so much to me, besides the obvious, but it is a whole blog in itself, and I will save that for another time.

It all started about 3:20pm, Friday when my contractions started picking up, getting closer, but nothing too out of the usual (If you remember, my water broke again on Thursday and I was dialated to 1cm). As 4:30pm rolled around, my contractions started getting stronger. This, of course, is the day I told Eric to stay home. By the time he arrived my contractions were still strong and the docs decided it was time to take out the cerclage. By 7:30pm, I had the epidural and then the cerclage was removed (about 8:30pm). I was dialated to 4-5cm. Approx. 1
hour later?? I was having more back pain and was dialated to 9cm and his head could be seen. They then took me to the OR and I was completely ready to deliver. After approx. 5 sets of pushing (Eric said around 15 min.), little Matthew came into our lives (11:04pm). I got to see him a lot longer than I expected, he cried :), and Eric got to cut the umbilical cord. The NICU docs than took him to another room to prep him for his stay. We didn't get to see Matthew until around 2:30pm!! It was a very long wait, but he was fine. He was put on a ventilator for breathing, tube-feeding, IV, and various standard monitors (heart rate, etc.)

He was strong from the start. By 1:30pm Sat., they removed the breathing tube and replaced it with a C-PAP (over the nose breathing tube), by 4pm they removed the C-PAP and put in a nasal canula to give extra O2, then because be was breathing over the O2, they removed it by 8pm. He is still on room air!!! and doing great.

He has lost some weight and a lot of fluid...so he is very little, but big for his age (gestational), if that make sense. The last couple days his weight has remained about the same and they are increasing his feeding (breastmilk now..he is off nutrients) daily. Once he tolerates the food increases, he can get rid of the IV. I believe he is around 3 lbs, 6-7oz (still good). His bilirubin levels were high on Sunday and they put him under "the lights" and he was just "soaking up the rays" until Tuesday morning. His level has gone down, but flucuates, so they still have a blue light underneath (this is all for jaundice, which is normal in preemies)...Andrew had to do this too. The 1st ultrasound of Matthew's brain came back completely normal, and we hope that this will continue. He is at risk for brain bleeds until he hits 32 weeks.

Mom and Dad were able to change diapers and bathe Matthew for the 1st time on Sunday. Yesturday, Mom got to "kangaroo"/hold Matthew on my chest for the 1st time for 2 and 1/2 hours!!! And today, I got to hold him for 1 and 1/2 hour!!!! That's what I needed and it was absolutely wonderful!!! (I had to fight with the nurse because I just didn't want to let him go!!!!) Needless to say, I slept much better last night. Andrew has seen his little brother twice now and is very fond of him. He thinks all the tubes, etc. are "Cool" :) and he is going to be a great big brother.

I have to go now...but I will add more later...YES!...including some pictures!

Matthew's progress

Matthew is now almost 40 hours old. He is breathing on his own without supplemental oxygen, sleeps a lot, is being fed through a tube that runs into his stomach, and becomes pretty feisty when the doctors or nurses work on him. He has lost more weight than expected, but is nothing to worry about yet. We will wait and see . . . . .

Matthew's Arrival!

Matthew Joseph Calvin has arrived! He was born at 11:04pm last night (Friday). He weighs 4 lbs 1oz (which is amazing!), he is 17 inches long (again shocking!) and doing very well. He is very feisty right now, which I think is adorable :) He has a breathing tube, but is doing a lot on his own and may not be in long. He has a feeding tube and it will be some time before he will feed normally due to age. He was born at 29 wks, 6 days. We are very happy and doing well. Andrew is sooo excited to be a big brother!!!

I will add more details to this blog later and pictures once I get home (a few days). Right now I want to go visit my son :)