What A Scare!

Matthew scared me half to death today! I was giving him his multivitamin through a dropper (in his cheek) and he started gagging on me and couldn't breathe. His eyes got really big and he started turning a light shade of blue. He just couldn't get a breath and I didn't know what else to do but rub his back and pray that he take a breath! I was just about to grab the phone when he finally got some color back and went limp. I kept rubbing his back until he started breathing more. AHHH! It made me think of Maggie and her son, Ericson, (they were neighbors to us at the NICU) and she said they had made a trip to the ER already due to him gagging and turning purple, not able to breathe!!! I was going to take a shower, but instead I am going to keep a very close eye on Matthew until I am sure he doesn't have anything whatsoever in that throat of his. He is now sleeping in the swing and I my heart is not pumping so hard. Everything is just fine now, but it makes you realize how fast something can happen. I think I will be discussing another alternative to supplementation for Matthew with our home nurse and the pediatrician tomorrow. I do not want to do that again. This is the 2nd time we tried it and the first time he also had a difficult time (but not like this!)

At Home And Loving Every Minute Of It!!

Matthew is now home and doing very well. He still has small dips in his O2 and heartrate once in a while with feedings, but gets stronger and stronger every day. It is amazing what a difference even one day is! I'm not sure where his wt. is exactly, since the pediatrician and visiting home nurse have completely different measurements, but know that he is over 8 lbs and eating continuously :) The only main concern we have at this point is not having any dirty diapers (besides being wet) for several days, but hopefully that will work itself out soon.

We have a visiting home nurse that just stops in to see Matthew and get a weight about every 3-4 days. She addresses any concerns that we are having. Plus, we have also been to the pediatrician for routine exams/immunizations :( Not too happy I agreed to the first set of shots, I don't know what I was thinking...he was not himself for a few days and made me a complete wreck. I should have had them wait, especially since he is not trully a two month old for two more months in development.

Matthew is doing the newborn thing...sleeping, EATING, and I hope soon pooping... He is a wonderful baby and only gets up in the night to eat, then goes right back to sleep. During the day, he has had more and more awake time...an hour or two in the morning and evening. He definitely lets you know when he is hungry, with a high-pitched squeel until that food is present. He is growing fast and seems so BIG to Eric and I because he has atleast doubled in size from when he was born. He is looking more and more like a full-term baby, if not already.

Andrew is a proud big brother and loves helping Mom and Dad with feeding, bathing, playing, holding, and watching the little guy. He has recently shown a little bit of jealousy with Mom's time, but it is all that we expected. If Matthew is cuddled, he needs a little cuddling, etc. I am so happy that we decided to have one more, and I think overall Andrew is too. In fact, he says he wants us to have more babies...but we are done.

Two wonderful miracles...

Final Day In The NICU!

Today is the day and we are so excited! Matthew has a few procedures/shots yet, then it is time for the homecoming. Hopefully, we will be traveling by late afternoon :) Yeah!! He is going to be exhausted today and what a transition for him, but it's all good :)

This may be the last time I write for a while, since we will have our hands full, not to mention that our internet is down. Time to get back to Matthew!

Going Home Tomorrow!!!

I don't know what else to say! We are so excited!!!!

Almost Home!

Matthew is completely off his oxygen as of this morning around 10am. So far, he is doing very well and keeping his O2 levels in the 90s. He is still growing (7lbs, 6 oz.) and continues to take his feedings on his own. Right now, he will remain in the NICU for observation to make sure he doesn't tire out, have difficulty with breathing, keeps his O2 sats up, and continues to gain weight. If all goes well, we could be home by the weekend!!! Here come the sleepless nights and continuous feeding schedule!!!

Taking 100% Of Feedings!

Right now Matthew is taking 100% of his feedings. It all started when the docs walked in to do rounds Saturday morning. When they got to Matthew's bed and looked down, they saw that he had his feeding tube (pulled out) in one hand, and the nasal canula was in his mouth! I guess he was hungry :) And he was just smiling away :) As you can see, he is already up to mischief! Since then, they have only had to put the feeding tube in once (which he again pulled out!) and he has been taking 100% of his feeding himself. Keep up the good work Matthew!!!

Now, our goal is to get him off the "flow" of air and get him home. They are trying to put him on O2 again today, but just a tiny bit, to see if he can tolerate the work of his lungs. If he gets too tired or reduces his feeds/energy, he will go back on the "air flow", and we will just keep trying until he's ready. Once he is on his own (no "flow"), then he can come home with or without O2 (which he needs right now only when he is eating). Hopefully that makes sense.

I am shooting for next week or earlier!! He gets stronger everyday and is looking great...Praise God!! I am thankful everyday that he is now a great part of our lives and that we have such a wonderful family and friends!

I Finally Got Some Pictures On The Blog!

As you can tell Matthew has a few people that simply adore him...it's been a long road, but sure has been worth it. Matthew is doing very well. He is now on what is called "off-the-wall" O2, which, if necessary, is what he can go home on (hopefully this won't be necessary). This is the oxygen that we see people use in public, it would be portable for Matthew as well if he needs it. He is taking more feedings by bottle or nursing and is desating (dropping heart rate/O2 levels) less often during feeds. As you can see by the video below, he is 7 lbs today!!! At 35 wks gestation! And still growing :) He is moving on up on the growth scale, but they are not concerned with too much weight gain because his height is in the 90th percentile! Go Matthew!! He is filling out more of his "rolls" and in my opinion looked better today than I have ever seen him! We are ready for him to come home and know it is only a matter of time now.

Video Of Matthew Today!

Matthew had a very busy day while mom was at the hospital with him. Nursed, physical therapy, bath, multiple diaper changes (he is the master at these!!), and taking a bottle...all within 3 1/2 hours!! Then he was tired out and just wanted to sleep, but mom had to get a video of him...

My Little Chubster!

Matthew is continuing to grow...over 6 lbs now and not stopping! I think he is definitely getting enough food. I will again try to get some pictures on soon...i have them, but I usually blog from the hospital. Everyone will think he is still small, but to me he seems huge!! He has a double, going on triple, chin. He has lots of rolls (everywhere), and huge thighs for his size (in my opinion). I am used to Andrew (always in the 5th percentile) and Matthew is somewhere above the 50th and climbing...by the time everyone sees him, he will look completely different! The docs, and nurses, sometimes forget that he is still only 34 wks (gestational age) and not 36 or 37. We actually have to remind them here and there :) I know, I know...that's why I need to get some more pictures on this blog.

Let's see...Matthew may be home in a week or two, based on my observation. I wouldn't be surprised if it were sooner, than later. He is still on O2, but doing better on his own and doesn't need a lot of stimulation if he desats (breathes shallow). He is feeding from a bottle during the day, taking by mouth about 15-35ml (out of 50), this will improve as he gets older and has more energy to stay awake. It is actually possible that he will go home with O2 and tube feedings...we will just wait and see. Matthew had an eye exam on Monday, which showed immature vessels (not connected to the eye yet), which happens in some preemies and they will do weekly testing to see if this improves. No need to be concerned at this point. He also had a cranial (brain) ultrasound on Monday, which came back perfectly normal, Yeah!! :) The docs say that he should be getting "stars" for overachieving in many aspects.

I have realized in the last week and especially the last couple of days, exactly how (stressed?) that I actually am. I feel like there is no time to do the million and one things that need done. I feel relaxed, but then...my to do list keeps growing, as well as the laundry, housecleaning, organizing, regular preschool activities/trips, and Andrew just misses me more and more... These things weren't bothering me much, until Andrew started really reacting to my leaving every day. It will be nice for him just to have me at home, even though lots of time will still be given to Matthew. Again...thank you Dad! for helping out..what would we have ever done without you!!!!! :)

Not Ready

Matthew was not ready for the 5th floor and is back in the NICU. We felt that way from the beginning and I guess we were right. Very short story...we went to the 5th floor (after much emotion and persuasion) about 12:30am Sunday morning. While we were there, Matthew just wasn't himself. He was uncomfortable for some reason and was crying more than normal. Once on the correct type of O2/air mix (don't ask..), he continually dipped in percentage, sometimes as low as 64% and the nurses, doc, and respiratory therapist were not comfortable with this at all. By 6am, Matthew was back to the NICU, and is now back to his comfy/cozy self.

Again, this is the short story...and we are glad he is back in the NICU.

Matthew Is Graduating To A New Floor!

Matthew is moving to a new floor in Motts Hospital, out of the NICU. This may sound exciting, but to us it is scary. We are pretty anxious and nervous about the whole move, but know he will be ok. The best thing is that we will get to take care of him and stay in his room. The hardest thing will be lack of sleep, time away from Andrew, the possibility of Andrew getting sick...then what???? (hopefully this won't happen), getting used to no monitors in the room, and no nurse at his bedside.

I am at the NICU right now, trying to stay awake and waiting for the move to take place. Then I will be in his room and might be able to get a few hours of sleep. We'll see. I obviously won't be getting to those pictures again...

Oh ya...Matthew is just short of 6 lbs!!! He is now 34 weeks gestation and on his 31st day of life!

Just Hanging Out!

Matthew is continuing to grow, 5 lbs 4 oz as of last night. He is doing well with his O2 and is starting to take a partial bottle at least once a day. Doc's keep giving us the "thumbs up" sign, so to me that indicates that all is progressing well :) I am hoping to add new pictures this coming weekend.

Still Growing!

Matthew is doing great! He is now 5 lbs 1 oz (until tomorrow) and gaining 40-60g per day. He is starting to take small amt. of his feedings from a bottle or mom, and he is doing better with maintaining his O2 levels. Everytime I see him, he looks a little bigger and longer. Last week, his smallest preemie clothes either just fit or were way too big. Today they seem to be fitting him pretty well, but still comfortably roomy :) We are anticipating that he may be coming home in 2-3 wks, if all continues to go well, he can get off O2, and continue to take his own feedings. We will see....time is actually flying by, now that I'm not on the couch and I am back to "real life", and I love every minute of it!! I have only stretched out on the couch ONCE since I have had Matthew and that was ONLY because Andrew wanted to read stories and requested that we lay on the couch :)

Andrew is doing very well and is also ready for Matthew to come home. He was able to go see his little brother over the weekend and was really excited to hear him cry, smile at his voice, and open his eyes. Most of the time that Andrew has seen him, he has been sleeping. Eric, I, and my dad have been doing well also...keeping up with the busy schedule, but enjoyable schedule :) And much awaiting the moment Matthew gets to come home!

Just Watching Him Grow!

That is what the docs say everytime they do rounds in the morning "Just watching him grow". As of last night, Matthew weighs 4 lbs 12 ozs, we have yet to get a weight on him today. It seems like he is gaining approx. 2-3 ozs daily, so he may be over 5 lbs by the weekend :) He is doing very well. Still on O2, but very little. He now has the top of his incubator open and he has to be able to control his temperature and keep gaining weight to keep it up...he's moving in the right direction so far. He is now wearing preemie clothes, a little hat, is bundled (so you really can't see that he has clothes on :), and he has borrowed his big brother's train blanket to get cozy under. It all just makes him that much cuter! I'd put on a new picture, but (BAD MOM) I keep forgetting the camera...it's still on the computer where I downloaded pictures last time!!! Maybe tomorrow...

Andrew is finally getting control of his cough and gets to go back to school. We are hoping he gets over this sinus stuff soon, so he can visit his little brother. I will be taking tomorrow off to spend with Andrew, and Sunday I will also stay home with Andrew and give Dad (Eric) the entire day to spend with Matthew. Andrew is still being strong, but I can tell it's beginning to wear on him. I guess he needs to get used to having to share his time. Eric and I have both agreed that he will have major "grandpa withdrawal" in the future due to getting so much attention and "good" spoiling. I think they have formed a great bond that will last a lifetime :)

Idea Of Size

Here are several more recent pictures of Matthew. I tried to put several objects in the pictures to give a better idea of his size (pen, thumb, etc.). Matthew is doing very well and as you can see, resting and growing. He is now just over 4 lbs, 3 oz. and gaining weight (about 7-10 grams) daily. He is in the 56th percentile for wt, and 50th+ for ht, all are progressing normally. As of tomorrow (Sunday, Feb 22nd) he will be at 32 weeks (gestational).

He is back and forth between room air (21%) and 23% O2, as his lungs are also continuing to develop, and is being given caffeine to help remind him to breath at times when he is very relaxed. We are hoping that the remainder of his stay will be as uneventful as possible. He remains big for his gestational age and the nurses continuously remind themselves that he is only 31, and now almost 32 wks.

It feels strange at times, and I will speak for my husband as well, as if we have two lives. One is at the NICU and then the other is at our house. It is still hard to divide the time and Andrew is handling it very well. He has had a rough week with allergy/sinus issues and has been unable to come to the hospital to see his little brother. Hopefully he will recover soon and get a chance to spend some time with Mom, Dad, and Matthew at the hospital. Over all, we are developing a daily/weekly routine that requires every bit of energy and leads to utter exhaustion :) Despite everything, the are sooooo blessed and are soooo happy to have our new addition and our Andew in our lives!!! We are thankful everyday for the two of them, and know that they both have a guardian angel, Alexandra, who we lost previously at 18 wks.

This is Matthew with lights underneath to help lower his level of bilirubin when he is jaundice. I mentioned this before, but it is normal for a preemie to do this. Earlier he had to have lights shining above him as well and he was "bathing in the lights". As of today, he is off the lights unless his levels increase again.

The mask on his face is to protect his eyes from the light. He didn't seem to mind unless we started messing with it :)

As you can see, he has the feeding tube in his mouth to his stomach (which he keeps trying to work out by himself. He has an IV on his left arm in this picture, now it is actually on the right side. All other wires are to monitor his heart, O2 levels, and respiratory rate. He was pretty relaxed and happy in this picture, just lounging around!

The rest of the pictures are on the side and go from most recent to the 1st day. Enjoy!! I will be updating often as he is continuing to grow! (He gained more weight today!!!)

Back Again!

Back again. I have gotten a lot of baby time today, so thought I would take a break and blog. We are both excited, we get to bathe Matthew this afternoon. From now on, I kangaroo (hold) Matthew one day, bathe the next, etc... He is doing very well today. Yesterday afternoon, they put him back on a nasal cannula because his O2 stats were hanging around in the 80s (%). This is normal, he is just tired of breathing on his own. He has had 3 x-rays showing some immaturity to his lungs and one is slightly collapsed due to him not filling it all the way. Again, the NICU docs reassure us that this is normal with preemies, and they will mature over time. They will continue to monitor this as the days go on. Matthew gained weight yesterday for the first time and they are increasing his tube feedings daily. His bilirubin (jaundice) has lowered today (good thing) and they took him off the lights. He seems so content today compared to yesterday due to more relaxed breathing. He opened his eyes a lot today and looked as though he really wanted to know where I was. He has also been very active (arms and legs) today. We just praise God that he is doing so well. He is now 6 days old and just short of 31 weeks gestation.

I was looking at a chart today on gestational age and weight. A 29 week old avg. was approx. 2.8lbs, and a 34 week avg. was 4.6! I guess he was a little bigger :) 87th percentile. He already makes us proud :)

I actually got a good night sleep last night...7 whole hours, despite 3 hour breaks for pumping. I feel so rested compared to yesterday (or any day since the baby was born). I have been up here everyday and yesterday I just crashed and knew I needed rest. Andrew is also getting tired of me being away, I feel so torn right now :( I am hoping that he will stay strong and try to understand why Mom has to be gone right now. If Matthew is doing very well, I am going to leave a little early and spend a few quality "playtime" hours with Andrew.

Andrew has been a little stuffy the last couple days. It seems like allergies with the warm up and damp weather, and we are hoping it doesn't go any further. You wouldn't know it, he is such a trooper. We are so blessed to have him as our child.

Mom and Dad Calvin are doing are great, despite the sleep deprivation and busy schedule. The hospital NICU has some great resources/programs/support that make as feel as welcome and informed as possible and we feel that Matthew is in great hands when we can not be present. Eric took this week off and has also gotten to spend some time with both Matthew and Andrew and will be returning to work next week as long as all is well.

My dad is staying as long as we need him and he also is a real trooper...and taking on even more responsibility now. Love you Dad!!

Just Over 4 Days Old!

I know what your all saying...It's about time! I have to be completely honest though and say it is really hard to stay here and type instead of being at Matthew's bedside. I thought maybe I could type next to him, but so far can not because I just can't stop watching, comforting, and talking to our cute little guy! Ok, ok...I know what your saying now too...Where are the pictures????? They are coming, be patient. It's just that by the time I get home and spend a little time with Andrew, I am totally exhausted. I know it doesn't take long to download my pictures and put them on this sight and I promise :) they will get here soon enough (give me a few more days or so to get into some type of routine).

I am surviving on about 5 hours of sleep daily. If I make a million spelling/grammar mistakes, don't take it against me :)

Matthew Joseph Calvin arrived Friday at 11:04, 4lbs and 1oz., 17inches long. His name trully fits him in our eyes because Matthew means "Gift from God", and Joseph means "God will add". I could go into why this means so much to me, besides the obvious, but it is a whole blog in itself, and I will save that for another time.

It all started about 3:20pm, Friday when my contractions started picking up, getting closer, but nothing too out of the usual (If you remember, my water broke again on Thursday and I was dialated to 1cm). As 4:30pm rolled around, my contractions started getting stronger. This, of course, is the day I told Eric to stay home. By the time he arrived my contractions were still strong and the docs decided it was time to take out the cerclage. By 7:30pm, I had the epidural and then the cerclage was removed (about 8:30pm). I was dialated to 4-5cm. Approx. 1
hour later?? I was having more back pain and was dialated to 9cm and his head could be seen. They then took me to the OR and I was completely ready to deliver. After approx. 5 sets of pushing (Eric said around 15 min.), little Matthew came into our lives (11:04pm). I got to see him a lot longer than I expected, he cried :), and Eric got to cut the umbilical cord. The NICU docs than took him to another room to prep him for his stay. We didn't get to see Matthew until around 2:30pm!! It was a very long wait, but he was fine. He was put on a ventilator for breathing, tube-feeding, IV, and various standard monitors (heart rate, etc.)

He was strong from the start. By 1:30pm Sat., they removed the breathing tube and replaced it with a C-PAP (over the nose breathing tube), by 4pm they removed the C-PAP and put in a nasal canula to give extra O2, then because be was breathing over the O2, they removed it by 8pm. He is still on room air!!! and doing great.

He has lost some weight and a lot of fluid...so he is very little, but big for his age (gestational), if that make sense. The last couple days his weight has remained about the same and they are increasing his feeding (breastmilk now..he is off nutrients) daily. Once he tolerates the food increases, he can get rid of the IV. I believe he is around 3 lbs, 6-7oz (still good). His bilirubin levels were high on Sunday and they put him under "the lights" and he was just "soaking up the rays" until Tuesday morning. His level has gone down, but flucuates, so they still have a blue light underneath (this is all for jaundice, which is normal in preemies)...Andrew had to do this too. The 1st ultrasound of Matthew's brain came back completely normal, and we hope that this will continue. He is at risk for brain bleeds until he hits 32 weeks.

Mom and Dad were able to change diapers and bathe Matthew for the 1st time on Sunday. Yesturday, Mom got to "kangaroo"/hold Matthew on my chest for the 1st time for 2 and 1/2 hours!!! And today, I got to hold him for 1 and 1/2 hour!!!! That's what I needed and it was absolutely wonderful!!! (I had to fight with the nurse because I just didn't want to let him go!!!!) Needless to say, I slept much better last night. Andrew has seen his little brother twice now and is very fond of him. He thinks all the tubes, etc. are "Cool" :) and he is going to be a great big brother.

I have to go now...but I will add more later...YES!...including some pictures!

Matthew's progress

Matthew is now almost 40 hours old. He is breathing on his own without supplemental oxygen, sleeps a lot, is being fed through a tube that runs into his stomach, and becomes pretty feisty when the doctors or nurses work on him. He has lost more weight than expected, but is nothing to worry about yet. We will wait and see . . . . .

Matthew's Arrival!

Matthew Joseph Calvin has arrived! He was born at 11:04pm last night (Friday). He weighs 4 lbs 1oz (which is amazing!), he is 17 inches long (again shocking!) and doing very well. He is very feisty right now, which I think is adorable :) He has a breathing tube, but is doing a lot on his own and may not be in long. He has a feeding tube and it will be some time before he will feed normally due to age. He was born at 29 wks, 6 days. We are very happy and doing well. Andrew is sooo excited to be a big brother!!!

I will add more details to this blog later and pictures once I get home (a few days). Right now I want to go visit my son :)

Settled For Now

My contractions picked up and were pretty intense for about a 1/2 hour after my last blog, but have settled down now. The docs don't want to do anything tonight if they don't have to. I am going to take a sleeping pill, and hope to get a full night sleep without hard contractions waking me up. Baby still looks great!

Andrew came to cuddle with me today and drew me several (approx. 10) pictures that I absolutely love. My favorite says "I Love You" with a heart and a drawing of the baby. While snuggling on my bed, we watched a couple Rescue Heroes videos, read a couple books, and ate dinner together. He is the best therapy I could ever have!!! I miss him sooooo much!!!! He told the doctor that the baby is coming out tonight. Hope not :) Although I don't know how many of these prep. days I can take :) He is definitely more comfortable visiting me now, and wants to know how everything works...of course, those liitle minds of theirs.

My dad says that every morning he puts a little animal under his shirt and says "He's kicking!", then "Look Grandpa, he came out!" He is just so cute!!

Ruptured Sac Again!

Last night my contractions picked with pressure, but no real pain. The OB doc did an exam and everything looked ok. Overnight, everything went back to normal. This morning, I was excited because all bleeding had stopped.

Then it all started, guess things just weren't exciting enough anymore!

The unit I was in was getting so busy the last couple days, they decided to move me to the "regular" labor and delivery wing...because I was their most stable patient. I was in my new room a matter of minutes, when my water ruptured again! This time it all happened very fast and my contractions picked up to 1-3 min. apart. Don't worry, they have not been painful contractions, just frequent.

They did an exam and said I am dialated about 1cm, yet there still is no tension on the cerclage. (To understand this better, the stitch is on the inside of my cervix or top end and the bottom or outer portion can still open). At first, they thought they may have to remove the cerclage, but because I never went into labor (with pain) they ruled that out. Now, my contractions are farther apart, but a little more painful. So, again we just wait to see...

It looks as though things will settle down. If the pain increases they will reevaluate. And of course, Eric is here and now everything is slowing down...guess it was a false alarm (so far).
I just like to keep it exciting!! We don't like dull moments :)

If you want to understand how I'm doing at the moment, I'll tell you...I'm starving and can't wait until they will allow me to eat again :)

New Day

A few contractions and bleeding today, but it seems to be letting up. I'm not feeling the best, a little sick to my stomach and tired. Hopefully, things will get better as the day goes on.

My regular OB thinks I may have sealed back up, that the baby is really too small to just be blocking the hole with his head. He said the placenta will be very thin where it broke, so my water could break again easily. Right now, the fluid can continue to increase, which will put less pressure on the umbilical cord. Baby is still doing fine.

If I am still pregnant at 34 wks, they will remove my stitch and induce labor. So no matter what, we will have the baby by the second week of March. We have 19 more days to get to 32 wks, which they say is the magic number in the NICU. At that point, they would no longer be concerned about a brain bleed. The only main issues to deal with would be treating for any infection and lung function.

Ultrasound Results

Everything went very well at our US. The baby's movement was good, he passed all tests, including breathing movements. He is head down and definitely pushing up against my cervix (trust me I feel the pressure at times). The amniotic fluid is at 8cm, which is where it was when I arrived, before I lost a ton of fluid. This can increase again to normal (11+ cm) or until he moves his head slightly and I lose it all again. They say he is most likely plugging the hole that is in my placenta with his head. He looks pretty cramped in there, but they say this is fine. They did see fluid in one of his kidney's. This will need to be monitored, but she said with boys this is pretty common. They noted it only because they have not seen this is previous USs.

Best news of all (besides breathing movements) is his weight! When we talked to the NICU, they said the avg. wt for a 28-29 weeker is approx. 2-2.5 lbs, Matthew's weight is measuring approx. 3 lbs, 5ozs!! We are very excited about that!!

I am still doing fine and the bleeding is very minimal. They did not see any sign of placenta previa (where the placenta is tearing away from the uterus). So again, good news!

I wish I could have gotten an ultrasound picture, but they could only see the back of his head and couldn't get a really good picture for me today :( That's ok, the important thing is that he is doing great!)

Ultrasound Today

Today has been going well so far and hopefully will be as uneventful as yesterday. We are looking forward to our ultrasound this afternoon around 3:30. We will get an idea about how much amniotic fluid is around the baby, an approx. weight, and see how he is doing. I haven't had much, if any, fluid leaking since yesterday and there is a possibility that the hole in Matthew's amniotic sac could seal itself. That would be so wonderful, wouldn't it?

I will post an update after the ultrasound.

Made It To February And 29 Weeks!

I'm still pregnant, but had a pretty rough day yesterday. Frequent contractions stuck around until approx. 5:30pm, then spread out to approx. every 10 minutes until 7pm. After that, they had spread out more and more, and I ended up only having 5-6 tough ones through the night. That means, I actually got some sleep and feel much better today.

Today, I am having contractions every 5-10 minutes+, but rarely are they as strong as yesterday. So, we are hanging in there. Matthew still seems to be doing well, despite the cramped space that he has. The NICU met with us again yesterday, and it sounds as if they are pretty happy and confident with how far along he is now. Again, every day counts and we have done all we can do. It is out of our hands, and I will keep praying. As the docs have said, if my body delivers, there is a reason, could be infection, placental tear, etc.. so we have to let things happen.

It is hard at times, I always wanted to be so excited that the baby was coming, knowing the outcome of each contraction and active labor. Now, when I am contracting, we are saying "Not yet", "Stay in a little longer", and even though I can't wait to see him, I know it's best for him to stay in the womb as long as possible, if it remains a good environment.

We are prepared now, and so strongly feel that he will be ok. It has been a long road, and we still have a long road ahead, but we will all be ok, and it will all be sooooo worth it. We are already so attached to this little one. He will make a great addition to our family.

In The Hospital Until Delivery

Please bear with me, for I am writing at 4am between contractions which are about 3 minutes apart. I tried not to get too detailed for those that are reading, but wanted to give enough info. that I could look back later and know what is happening or has happened. Again, this is also our journal.

My amniotic fluid started leaking Thursday morning. I have been in the hospital ever since and will be here until we deliver. My fluid loss has increased over the last few days, but the baby can be fine without it at this point and will keep making more. They have been giving me anitibiotics to prevent or fight any infection, that I am now at increased risk for. I have been fine up to this point, things had been pretty mild and my contractions had spread apart. Right now, I am getting a little nervous because I am bleeding slightly and contracting approx. every 3 minutes. The contractions are a little more intense than they have been in the past. I am blogging to keep myself occupied and less focused on the contractions, plus I couldn't attempt to sleep at this point (that is what woke me in the first place).

The doctors don't seem too concerned at this point and are monitoring me very closely. There are two things that could be happening (why I'm bleeding and contracting): 1) my cerclage (stitch) is still in place (we think) and there could be a lot of tension/pulling on this. It could hold and it could tear. Actually, this is the best case senario. They will not check me until I am in intense pain and seem to be in full labor or the baby is having a little harder time. The reason for this, is to prevent infection. Matthew is doing fine now, but again they are closely monitoring him. 2) the placenta could be detaching from the uterus wall. If there is only a small part it is fine. If a large part separates, then the baby will be distressed and they will have to get him out. They don't think this is happening, but it is a possibility and cannot be ruled out.

There is definitely possible that my contractions could settle down and become less frequent, and things could go back where they were about 1 1/2 hours ago. Or things will continue to progress. We just have to sit tight and see.

Eric and I met with the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) last night and feel really good about Matthew's care if he is born now. Of course, we would rather take him home, but making it to 36 wks is no longer an option. I will update you on that later, after he is born.

It is now 5:40 am. Contractions are farther apart, but more intense right now. I will most likely not update any further until all has settled down.

Life Is Full Of Surprises

Sometimes life is full of surprises. Some of them are absolutely wonderful, some a little scary, others we wish we never had to experience. But every new experience, every new encounter, helps us to grow, to learn, and to live.

We Can't Thank Everyone Enough!

I don't even know where to start. We have now made it to 28 weeks and are so excited!!! We never could have gotten this far without ALL of you, your support, your concern, your thoughts, your prayers! Praise God for everyone and for his loving hand on our little one!!

I'd like to give special thanks to my father, who has been here since the beginning. He has been sooooo wonderful, and has put up with us day in and day out. Besides taking great care of Andrew (who just loves him dearly), he has taken on cooking, household chores, Andrew's health issues, appt.'s to physical therapy, my mood swings :), just to name a few...words cannot describe how incredible thankful we are! He has taken time (3 weeks+ per month!!) out of his busy schedule (and normally his time in the warm weather of Texas) to spend helping us. We Love You Dad! Of course, the same goes to his loving wife, who has had to spend so much time at home without her husband...thank you for your love and understanding.

Thank you to those who have helped on days my dad could not be here, for dinners that have been delivered, phone calls, cards, emails, prayers, and visiting me at home. We are very blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives!!!

Muscle???.....What's that?

Today I was so excited to take a shower and actually feel like a human being! By the time I got out, I trully felt like a new woman....a 90 year old woman that is :) Muscle???? My body has obviously forgotten what that is. WARNING...some of you may not want to continue... I was in the shower and looked behind me and actually thought I'd see a "behind" me, but it was gone!! As I looked a little closer I realized that it was there...right behind the back of my knees!! Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating A LITTLE. As I looked at my legs and arms I realized there is no muscle left there either. Wow...this surely is an interesting journey.

Ok, somewhat seriously...I really was totally exhausted, in fact by the time I finished getting ready, my heart was racing and right now I feel like I could take a very long nap. I almost didn't finish blowdrying my hair (sitting in a chair, mind you), it was a lot of effort...then a friend called and, even though I laid back down, I believe she could her my heartbeat right over the phone...or maybe that was my inability to catch my breath :) This experience, even though I trully do feel a whole lot more human, makes me wonder how much effort a walk around the block will be. This is the first time in my life I actually feel what I hear a lot of people say, "I'm too old for this!"

Oh ya...I still have to go through labor:)

Well, it's all worth it and I'm trying my best to find humor in everything, so bear with me. I hope not to offend anyone (It's a good thing I can't post pictures...honestly, just kidding).

Ok, back to the serious side...I guess...

The last couple days have been great, I have kept myself very busy and having this blog really helps already. I feel like I can actually communicate with those I love and keep my sanity at the same time. This week has gone by fairly fast.

Even though I am still experiencing contractions, the last couple of days have been minimal (3-5 daily vs. 2-3 an hour...major difference here). Hopefully this continues for a while and I won't be visiting the hospital until my next visit. It is nice to be home. I miss my family so much when I'm gone. Andrew is my little entertainer, loves to keep me company, and is a great snuggler. He has been learning some new games while I have been on bedrest, like UNO. He is doing great and we have been so thankful that he has remained healthy through all of this. We are getting a little behind in the therapy department, but I'm sure he enjoys the break, and we will catch up when I get off the couch. He doesn't seem bothered by any of this, in fact, if I'm not on the couch for some reason, he says, "Where's mom, she is supposed to be on the couch", he gets after me quite a bit (someone has to keep me in line) :) Eric is doing great too, back to his old job as of today. He has a lot of responsibility now, but is such a strong, wonderful person. I don't know if I would handle everything as well as he does. He always comes through for us and I don't drive him too crazy.

We've Made It This Far!

Well, here we are at 27 weeks, 5 days. This was only a dream 7 weeks ago, when we first found out I was having contractions, funneling, and my cervix was getting even shorter. At that time, we were praying we would make it to 23 weeks, so they could actually try to save our baby boy. Any time before 23 weeks is considered a miscarriage and the baby has no chance of survival outside the womb. For those that don't understand funneling, it is like a small tornado above my cervix which usually occurs when I am contracting. Instead of being a nice, rounded surface, it is a V-shape and the cervix can become shorter. This usually happens (to my understanding) later in pregnancy when your body is getting prepared for labor.
Contractions are normal throughout pregnancy, but our concern is more in the shortening of my cervix. My cervix was short to begin with, so any loss is significant (at least to us).

To make a long story, a little shorter, my cervix started at a thickness of 3.5 cm (which is shorter than average) and is now at 1.5 cm. I had a procedure at 13 weeks to put in what is called a cerclage, which is a stitch that holds the cervix closed. Right now, the only thing between the baby and "the outside" is that stitch. So now...it really is just a waiting period, and so far that stitch is doing it's job.

As I was visiting one of my OB docs last week, he said something like "you just want to keep this interesting for us, dont you?" and "Laura, you are only allowed so many questions". Those of you that know me and have already been on this journey with us can appreciate both of these statements! I will not be seen at the OB office until 29 wks, mainly because they don't want me traveling and I need to rest as much as possible. If I have major issues, that do not require me to go to triage (labor & delivery), they will come directly to the house. They have been wonderful to us and we feel that we have made an excellent decision to travel to UofM for care! As far as medication goes, I have been taken off of prometrium (progesterone). I still remain on Niphedipine to help with contractions and the relaxation of the uterus. There is no harm to the baby in using this med. We will have a full ultrasound at 29 weeks to get an idea of how much Matthew weighs and hopefully get some good pictures.

Today's update is good. My contractions (which are no longer unnoticeable) are decreasing and becoming less uncomfortable. Matthew (the baby) is doing great. He is a real kicker and likes to turn or flip (at least it feels that way) often, which is not always fun for me, but sure is reassuring and fun to watch! Andrew got to feel the baby kick last night, he was so excited!! It was fun to see his facial expressions. Matthew's heart rate has always been strong and he gets the hiccups here and there (which is also a good sign in development). We got his room painted today and are starting to slowly prepare in anticipation for his arrival. I believe his chance of survival at this point is around 90%, but there are still mental and physical complications that can occur. Every day at this point counts and is a huge milestone for us. I was reading today and it said that the baby can now open his eyes! How exciting!


As I get going further with this journal/blog, I will try to figure out how to do a timetable, so you can see all the adventures we have been through in the past and with this pregnancy. I know most of you that are reading this (if you've gotten this far) probably don't want to be bored by all of the details. But since this is also my journal, I will add some to a sidebar later.

Just Getting Started

I am just starting this blog site. I hope this will be a helpful way to communicate with everyone on how things are going with our pregnancy. The way I see it is, if the baby is born early, I can use this site to keep everyone updated on how he is doing in NICU and even after we bring him home.

Later on, I can use this site to keep everyone updated on both boys and our general family news.

I know I should have started this 7 weeks ago, when I started my bed rest, but I am hoping to fill everyone in (that is interested) about our journey as I go. Plus, this will be a great way to pass my time and keep my mind off of my contractions, etc.

This will save me a lot of phone calls, plus I forget who I have updated and who I haven't.

Here we go...